Don’t bully yourself!

Don’t hold yourself to standards that you wouldn’t expect others to meet. It’s great to want to do well, but expecting yourself to be better than the best and then punishing yourself when you fail is a vicious cycle. Using expressions like “I should have” is just a way of punishing yourself after the fact. Stop it. Live in the present and move forward. Don’t drag the past along for the ride; it gets heavy. Do you remember the children’s story of the little train that could? That’s how you need to live your life. Keep saying to yourself, “I know I can ... I know I can ... I can ... I can!” Tell your subconscious you’ve already done it. Be kind to yourself and remember you can do this!

Be kind to yourself.

People often feel perfectly comfortable treating themselves in ways they wouldn’t consider treating others. Do you call yourself names like fat, ugly and loser? Would you use those terms to describe a friend? Remind yourself that you deserve to be treated well. Do something nice for yourself sometimes, either in thought (give yourself a compliment) or action (treat yourself to a massage).

Encourage yourself.

Instead of focusing on the negative, replace your criticism with encouragement. Give constructive suggestions instead of being critical. (“Maybe if I try to do ____ next time, it would be even better,” instead of “I didn’t do that right.”) Compliment yourself and those around you on what you’ve achieved. (“Well, we may not have done it all, but we did a pretty great job with what we did.”) Giving praise will also encourage others to praise you, and this builds up your confidence to continue on the path.